Beautiful Sunset

Redefining Love

Unconditional love is not an emotion, nor is it something we can learn. Rather, unconditional love is a core part of our state of being which we only experience directly when we are free of judgement and emotion. Unconditional love in this context is synonymous with finding balance and harmony in things, with absolute acceptance and appreciation of what is, exactly as it is.

Our bias and expectation dissects whatever we encounter in our experience into a positive and negative duality and then tries to ignore either the positive or the negative side of the equation depending on our expectations. This distortion of reality then obscures our ability to perceive the true order and harmony inherent in everything around us from our awareness. A state of unconditional love results when we manage to recombine the polar opposites of this judgemental duality back into singular harmony by removing any judgement from the equation. Like in those rare moments where we stand in awe of the magic and majesty of the world around us, where we have no opinion or judgement, where there is nothing that we think should be different in order to conform to our desires and needs, when we accept everything exactly as it is in that moment and we appreciate it for all that it is. That feeling we have in that moment is unconditional love.

The universe itself is unconditional. Nothing is personal, cause and effect is the the rule. Nothing is inherently good or bad and we never experience challenge without support. Every single experience in our lives is geared towards our growth and empowerment, containing valuable wisdom regarding the choices we made to get us in our situation in the first place. Vast potential and resources are available to us as long as we do something productive with them, and remain willing to adapt, grow and evolve. KNOWING this experientially is the true meaning of “faith” as used in a spiritual context.

The effect of Emotion on Consciousness

When our perception of reality is distorted and unbalanced it triggers an emotional state which is superimposed over our underlying state of unconditional love, obscuring it from our direct perception or conscious awareness. If we balance out our perception and neutralize the emotion, we return to our core unconditional state. With practice, this return to neutrality is possible within every experience in every moment. Be aware however that our ego, identity or persona is not comfortable in this state, as it has no validity or power here. It will always try to impose its opinions and judgements to regain its illusion of control.

The Mechanics of Perception and Emotion

I must add here that a permanent state of unconditionality is not a realistic goal. That would defeat the mechanism of our growth. Instead, every time we get emotional (due to an imbalanced perception resulting from an erroneous underlying belief) and we subsequently manage to balance our perception and return to unconditional love in that moment, we gain wisdom and update the erroneous underlying belief. With repetition we become more present and tuned in to the nature and potential of the reality around us. We are less prone to entertaining myths and fantasies, we have access to more of the opportunities around us and are essentially more empowered to live more fulfilling lives.

An Unconditional Self?

Although access to a truly unconditional state of consciousness is rare, these moments are some of the most memorable and life altering experiences we can have. It makes sense to do whatever we can to increase the likelihood of such access. With attention to our emotions as indicators, and persistent application of critical thinking as a balancing response, our erroneous beliefs will incrementally be corrected or updated. Seeking a balanced and empowering perspective eventually becomes “first instinct” upon experiencing an emotional reaction to anything. The magnitude of our emotional swings will decrease over time too, since we are no longer investing our attention in them. The more often we can balance our skewed perceptions of reality the more we accelerate our growth. For us as individuals it is all about achieving an unbiased perception of reality. Only then do we stop clouding our view of a magnificent intelligent universe with our judgement and begin to perceive our role in it.


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With Love, Graham and Monika Burwise

Graham has invested more than four decades exploring personal and spiritual development. His natural curiosity and dedication to the pursuit of wisdom has given him a deep understanding of human behavior and human development, making him a sought after teacher and mentor for those looking to accelerate their growth or strive for a more direct experience of their true (spiritual) nature. Graham’s studies have included psychology, philosophy, physiology and chemistry, and he has a keen interest in many areas of scientific research. He has also explored several mystic traditions and studied spiritual teachings from around the globe. Graham and his wife Monika are co-founders of the Global Awakening Institute. They provide consulting, coaching and mentorship to those looking to master the art of building lasting love and truly resilient relationships.

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